I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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