i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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