you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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