There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
