Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
