you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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