erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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