It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
