Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
