the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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