I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
