It's Friday. Sex?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Drunk is not a location!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
