the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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