Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize