the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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