thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
