I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
