Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
