Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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