Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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