The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
did i walk over a car last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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