that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
