Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
