My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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