Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
