i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
