I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
