She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
