those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
