Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
