My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
