Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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