See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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