I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize