She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
