I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
