when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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