You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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