theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
