Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
