u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize