the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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