Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
