Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
