sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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