2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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