why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
