my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
