I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
