it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
