i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
