i don't like sucking hair
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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