Nicole vs. Life
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
