yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
