We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
