Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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