Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
