she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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