lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
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Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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