His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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