id be glad to
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
