make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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