**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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