I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my liver is dry heaving
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
