If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
